CM Punk

Been a lot of talk about CM Punks current situation with WWE, particularly regarding if its a work or no, I’m gonnae gie yees my two cents on the situation, and I’m gonnae try n make it entertaining. Strap yersells the fuck in for that.

First and foremost, I’d like tae address the idea that Punk leaving is a slight on potential future opponents. This supposed idea that he’s been told he’s working with Kane at Wrestlemania 30, and he’s spat the dummy, having been demoted from his previous spot against Triple H (something he would have been unhappy with also, after their feud a few years back died on its arse thanks to someone having the inane idea that involving Kevin Nash meant anything to anycunt) there’s an argument that he’s depriving Kane of his biggest WM payday in years, well to be perfectly honest, that’s a pile of fucking shite. Kane has been a well paid and prominent member of the WWE roster for the best part of 15 years. During that time he has starred in a movie also. Kane will be a very wealthy man, to the point that the only WM payday that would make a significant difference to his bank balance would be the Main Event spot. Punk understands the business better than many of us could fathom anaw, and he understands how much of a black mark against his name it would be if he skipped out on the company and kicked a veterans baws in the process. So naw. Not having that ataw. Ye can take that one, turn it sideways and shove it up yer hole.

With regards to him walking out to make a statement, leaving WWE high and dry before a landmark WM, I assume a company of WWEs size is safeguarded against the potential for this to happen, and would be in the process of suing the shite out of Punk right now if that was the case. Its no like he’s Austin, or someone in that bracket, and legal action would cause unrest amongst the fans. He’s CM Punk, an extremely talented, well respected and prominent guy in the current industry, but ultimately replaceable in their eyes. So for me, if there is any legit reason for him leaving, it will be a medical one.

I also reckon, although this is perhaps more in hope than expectation, that the reason behind this is to somehow pull CM Punk and Daniel Bryan together for Wrestlemania 30. It’s been my ideal main event for about 9 months now, no other match makes any sense in my eyes. The two guys who have captured people imaginations more than any others in the past 5 years, going toe-to-toe on the grandest stage of them all. Do ye really think WWE haven’t seen how important these two guys have been? Punk had the belt for 430 odd days for fuck sake, and even though its been a largely dry spell since, he’s still found time to work 3 of the best matches in the company over the past year (Cena on RAW, Lesnar at Summerslam and Taker at Mania) Daniel Bryan has been closing RAW and Smackdown regularly for 6 months anaw, and was put over clean by Cena for his first title win. A huge moment. Something Cena has refused to do for others. These are all carefully constructed steps to legitimise DBry in my opinion.

Orton gets a lot of stick for his current role tae. Having it all handed to him on a plate without really earning it, and whilst there’s some truth in that, it’s my belief that Orton is a placeholder champion. A solid guy to have there right now while the bigger plans all come to fruition. He has always been a solid worker, and a solid heel. Weak on the mic, but still more than passable as champ for now. The only thing about this Orton reign I’ve never seen any sense in was the angle with The Big Show, and the absolute fucking assault on the senses of a match they produced at Survivor Series. Everything else, while unpalatable on some levels, has made plenty of sense.

The Punk vs Bryan match would make sense on a more simple wrestling level anaw, Punk is stale as fuck as a face right now. Sure, people pop when he comes out. People admire his work, but does anyone really give a fuck? Him being one of the things you look forward to on RAW every week does not count as him being as important as he should be. Bringing him back as a heel at somepoint before Mania and having him work with DBry would be huge. People forget that whilst there’s only one PPV from now until Mania, there’s still a solid 2 months of tv time to make something happen. Something that disnae make ye want tae impale yer eyeballs on upturned toothpicks when ye hear the fuckin “Animals” theme hitting, n he comes out wearing the baw hugginest jeanshorts yer ever likely to see.

Or maybe its legit, and he wishes death on us all. Fuck only knows.